Have you seen Miley Cyrus lately?  What is up with those outfits?  She’s underage for crying out loud!  She’s giving lap dances. She can’t be tamed. She’s got her belly button out. Oh my!  I know grown men with Legal Miley countdown calendars…. isn’t there something that can be done?  She’s to set an example to the youth of America for crying out loud!   All these little girls will be RUINED!  What are we saying exactly when Miley’s antics are deemed acceptable?

Wait.

Let’s think about this.  I’ve got a million questions to ask.  Would love to know what the Chickoliths think is up.

What ARE we saying when we dissect her body, her journey of self discovery, and her sexuality? Whose hand forced the microscope on her?  What example are WE setting for young girls as it relates to their own sexual journey?

Do you remember how you discovered your own sexuality?  What does that even mean for you? Did it happen in one fell swoop?  What did it look like?  What did you wear?  Who told you what was acceptable and what wasn’t.  What does your sexuality look like today?  What happened when you  really came to understand the urgings of your body, what made you feel good?  Not just physically “down there” but emotionally too? What made (makes) you feel ashamed? How did you learn that? How do you feel when others lay claim to dictate acceptable expressions of who you are? What do you love about your body?  Isn’t this process of self discovery an amazingly powerful (and scary) transition in your life? Chock full of embarrassments, success, rejection, and acceptance?

You may or may not have gotten drunk in the back seat of cars and did things with boys your parents would be appalled to find out.  You may or may not have watched a few videos, or kissed (fell in love with) a girl, and/or decided to be absitnant.  What you for sure did was experiment in a whole variety of personal ways that came to shape who you are today as a sexual being.

Well now what’s up with our condemnation to a newly blossoming flower on the block?  And who should we really hold accountable to provide her with the safest forum to take her sexual journey?  We watched Brittney and Lindsay both crash and burn.  When I think of people like Drew Berrymore and Natalie Portman – somehow, I draw a blank visually as it relates to their blossoming (this makes me want to read more about the the value we place on the male gaze).  Maybe the difference is that there is something to be said for the private nature of the blossom-journey?  And also, Drew & Natalie are actors – perhaps there is something inherent in music that creates a different form of exposure?  Then also think of Christina Aguilera, and I see strange fits and starts, then a baby and then like she’s still figuring it out – not that there’s anything wrong with that either.

And what of Justin Timberlake – how did he avoid the scrutiny?  What say us of Justin Bieber? Well we know what Chris Brown & Kobe Bryant did.  Do boys just automatically “know” what is typically a journey for us women?

If I am honest, yes.  Miley makes me uncomfortable at times.  At others, proud.  Perhaps that’s my own personal sensitivities as it relates to my own journey.  Fortunately for me, nobody “owned” my sexuality.  Nary a penny was made because of anything I was asked to expose of my body.  I did not have a team of adults adding up how much money could be made off of whatever it is I did along my journey.  I also did not have various bloggers, news commentators, tabloids, parents, national organizations, and the like picking apart every thing I did. Wow.  When I sit back and really think about what I went through – and then think about how she’s growing I am humbled.  All I can say is that it will take an incredible amount of strength for this young woman to emerge from this time of her life sane, addiction free, and happy with her own body image.   I also hope that as we watch Miley’s ups and downs, we caution against participating in the damage to the very young girls we’re so worried about protecting.